Of course it is. And oh, by the way, it’s my fault. Yes, daughter number 2 salted away her SS card in a drawer and, 2 trips to college later, it has disappeared.
Now she has a summer job (whew, thank God for that! Hell hath no fury like a teenage girl with too much time on their hands!) and needs the card to complete her employment papers. The truth is no big deal – simply go down to the SS office with your drivers license, stand in line with the rest of the peons, and get a duplicate.
Well, I had forgotten my daughter is a princess and SHE DOES NOT STAND IN LINES. This princess complex is apparently a straight pass through – her mother has the same affliction. (And afflicts it on the rest of humanity, much like her daughter!)
In any case it’s my fault for not “coaching her well enough” to be more careful with the card. It’s also my fault that I don’t rush down to the local SS office and offer to stand in line for her. (yeah, right, how did I restrain myself?)
She will get over this “catastrophe” in about 4 months, and then forgiveness of her father will be at hand. How nice for me!
Bamboozled again. What else is new. My two college daughters, during the finals of last semester, announced how they were both idiots, did not understand the various subject matter of their classes, were likely going to flunk out of school and were ill equipped to survive in this world, never mind college.
I got calls from both girls, at least once a day, both of them detailing for me the perilous state they were in. The drama meter was in the red zone, all fire and brimstone. Naturally I fall for all of this, making the quantum leap of faith that they were really telling me the accurate state of affairs. It turns out I’m the idiot.
Well, the smoke clears, and somehow both girls “recover” and got excellent grades for the semester. When I asked them how they could work me the way they did with talk of the apocalypse they both looked at me blankly, like “what are you talking about?”. Their over the top drama displays are just a day in the park to them. How do I still far for this crap?! Beyond gullible!
Well, it certainly would not have been for me when in college. My eldest daughter has a B in organic chemistry (“ochem”) more than halfway through the semester. As a result she considers herself a failure, unintelligent and abjectly unfit to survive, never mind thrive, in society when she emerges from college.
Nothing like a typical over the top, the sky is falling, reaction. By all accounts Organic chemistry is a difficult class, so I’m slightly mystified why a B average equals doom. Of course being a dad means “I just don’t get it” (direct quote) anyway, so why would I get this?
The good news is that the barrage of phone calls, skyping and self recriminations is starting to subside, this after a unrelenting steady 10 days. So sanity may return, temporarily, to teenage daughter #1. One can always hope.
I certainly understand how fragile teenage hearts are, perhaps particularly with teenage girls. My second daughter, using all the finesse normally associated with a sledgehammer, went after the cute guy in the dorm down the hall.
So far all is well, but then she discovers that he has a girlfriend, such is life. So then after this initial salvo (or was it an assault?) which lasted 5 minutes, she feels rejected and devastated. I understand this is painful, but after 5 minutes?
My counsel to her was that her life was not necessarily a train wreck as a result of this slight rebuff after a 5 minute conversation. But then again what do I know, as she none too gently reminded me. I’m working with her on her social skills, trying to impart that tack and sweetness might be other arrows in the quiver in addition to a sledgehammer. But, again, what would I know?
Daughter #1 almost outdid herself this weekend past. My oldest girl is smart, focused and has a heart of gold. However, it also is the case she is absent minded as the day is long. There are far worse things in life.
My daughter is a sophomore in college and typically rides her bike to class and back. However, when she is running late she and her bike will take the bus, these buses have bike racks.
Well, said daughter took the bus, and then got off the bus, however she left her bike on the bus. So the hunt is on for the stray bike which apparently is percolating in the bus companies considerable lost and found compound. The bike will turn up, or it won’t, but the recriminations my daughter is piling on herself apparently will go on for years! Try telling your teenage daughter, that “these things happen” and the response is unprintable. I think she will recover, in the year 2015. Yikes. So that’s why they make cheap bikes.
Well, daughter #2 carried through on her long standing threat to go by her middle name in college, rather than her first name. My marching orders are that I am also, now and forever, to refer to my daughter by her middle name. Right, and if pigs could fly bacon would be airborne. Ain’t going to happen.
I have voiced my polite concern (actually I’m appalled) to her and the snappy come backer is “I’m 18 years old and can do what I want!” That sort of nuclear response blows up both my blood pressure and any sense of diplomacy and civility I was trying to have in the conversation.
So I went temporarily ballistic but have come back to earth, minus two years on my life. So it goes with teenage daughters!
Yes, my second daughter changed her major the day before freshman classes started. It was actually the right thing to do, certainly better than having classes for 2 or 3 weeks and then changing your major and trying to switch classes, catch up, etc.
This was 3 weeks ago and she is still unrelentingly pounding herself for not having figured this out sooner. She doesn’t get it that the fact that she figured it out at all, and still ahead of time, is outstanding!
Teenage girls can be terrible not only to other girls but to themselves. With both my daughters I need to remind them to be kind to themselves (and to others!). Certainly in this case, changing one’s mind on a major, somewhat belatedly but still timely, is no reason for self recrimination. I’m still hearing her laments and my cell phone will never recover.
So it’s just not my daughters…..which I actually did know. A woman friend of mine with 2 daughters emailed me that her senior daughter in high school, just got kicked out 2 weeks before graduation. Ouch! It was a private, girls only, high school and her infractions included dress code violations, disrespect towards others, (big mouth) and finally consuming pot laced brownies at school and then calling attention to herself. (big mouth)
Otherwise this girl is not dramatic whatsoever…..
Not sure about the extent of the counseling her mother requires (and all the rest of us with teenagers) but I feel her pain.
Yes, my second daughter is in Spain, supposedly learning the language and culture. I suspect the reality is more boy chasing and dance parties, which is fine. She alternates between glad to be in another culture to very, very homesick. On the one hand she says she will be back in a month, and then on the other handI get railed at for not shipping out more of her 32 diferrent body and hair potions and lotions. Each one is approximately $18.00 a problem so what am I waiting for?! Shipping is free to Spain as well, no worries. I’ll get right on it!
My daughter calls me from college and asked if I could find a particular garment in her top drawer of her dresser. I dutifully look and what I find are 4 checks from last summer, 2 from her summer job at a day care center, and 2 from baby sitting gigs. All totaled it was more than $400.00! Just sitting there in the drawer. Now the job checks have expired and I will get them replaced. Teenage daughters can give many different looks. This is my 19 year old who is smart as they come, scholastically, but her business acumen definitely needs to catch up! Of course she read me the riot act to quickly get those checks replaced and deposited. What was I thinking in not finding those checks earlier?! All my fault.