Teenage Drama

Life would be too easy without teenage daughters.  My 17 year old woke up this morning with a head cold, and pronounced it my fault since our humidifier chose not to work in the middle of the night.

My 16 year old is preparing to go to work at Target and pronounced, again, how she hates school, hates all the girls at school, hates her teachers, and hates her volleyball and tennis coaches.  It was kind of her to refrain from mentioning she hates her father.  Such a positive attitude!

So the day has started and I am in the familiar position of running for cover!

Come on dads, chime in.  Happy Saturday and check out www.BolderSearch.com

Our younger teen daughter, age 16, wakes up each morning in a decidedly uncharitable mood.  Interpretation, she is sullen and withdrawn.

Her sister, brother, mom and dad have all learned to direct such combative statements such as “good morning” in other directions.  No sense enraging the queen with such rude remarks.

I used to think her silence was actually a blessing, see above, no sense pissing off the queen.  But now I’m not so sure – silent animosity vibes are palatable, if you call the house shaking palatable.  A lot of teenage hostility built up, we try to relieve the pressure by gentle opening the valve but it’s absolutely at one’s own risk!  We love her but holy toledo!!

Come on dads, chip in with your stories and fates.

I want to hear from any other father out there with 2 driving teenage daughters. Please explain to me how you apportion out one car between the two.  The way it works in our house is whichever daughter slays the other daughter, on that day, she gets the car.

There is not negotiation, whichever girl emerges alive, on that day, from the brutal cat fight over the car, gets the car for the day.  I think another term or description would be “sledge hammer” diplomacy.

The biggest hammer gets the car.  As with the Bush Administration our girls give short shrift, or no shrift, to diplomacy.  Action, not works!  Looking forward to others posting.

Our 16 year old would rather fall on the sword than share anything with her 17 year old sister, and vice versa.  The 3rd family car, designated for the teen girls to share, is a full time hostage.

Each daughter claims the other has a “monopoly” on this 3rd car.  Each would gladly terminate the other if they thought they would not be apprehended.  Never has there been a fiercer competitive struggle between 2 teen girls over, literally, anything.  Nothing is freely given or asked for.  Whether it’s sharing a pie in the refrigerator, the TV remote control, or the keys to the 3rd car, it’s all a war.  Absolutely no quarter is given.  No concessions, no negotiation, it’s full on hostilities and a war of attrition.

The first victims, on a daily basis, are the parents.  Trust me on this one, sharing is not a gene within the teenage anatomy, does not exist.

Hope to hear from similar parents!

Thank goodness for John McCain.  Finally something other than a hapless parent for our daughters to turn their boundless rage upon.  The problem  now  is the election is over and I will default back to the punching bag for the two of them.  The pain soon to resume.

A very small respite for the weary, however their mom and I are thankful for any small breaks.  I was impressed by the level of hostility directed towards McCain in particular and Republicans in general.  If we could scale that rage our countries energy woes would be gone.

Looking forward to hearing from other fathers and their experiences their own calm teenage daughters.

Let me know if this sounds familiar.  Our 16 year old teen, with braces, had them tightened this past Wednesday.  All of a sudden this 2 sport, tough chick, varsity athlete, sullen on a gracious day, and a cannibal towards her family on a normal day, was reduced to a sniveling wreck.

For two days we heard, non stop, the refrain of “my f_____ing teeth are killing me!”  This replaced the standard daily outbursts or over shares of “I hate f___ing school!” and “I hate all the HS girl bitches!”, etc.

I recall having braces, and it was uncomfortable when they would be tightened, but the temporary, true colors of my daughter came out – not much grace under fire.   Why do I think it’s not just my daugher?  The case for boarding school in Switzerland has been crystal clear for some time.  Where do we sign up?

Happy Holloween.

We should have all seen it coming.  Our very, very particular 16 year old asked her mother to trim her hair a couple of inches, by the way, also layer it slightly.

All this was done with the hair being wet, and in truth it looked very subtle to all, including our daughter, until the next morning.  The ceiling was lifted off the roof as said daughter announced she looked like a boy and her hair “was too f______ing short!”

A lot of hysterics and recriminations.  Her father and brother literally ran out of the house in an attempt to stay out of harms way.  An unbelievable reaction to a very moderate hair trim.  To her credit our daughter, did ease off the recriminations and hostilities, after about 8 hours.

Being particular and a teenage girl is a no win combination.  We only have about 3 more years of the latter until the men in this house can feel safe again.  It will be akin to a prison break!

Yes, teenage daughter number 2 does not like to share, in fact never has.  She does not have a sharing problem, that would imply some sort of sharing in the past which no longer occurs.  There has never been any sharing by daughter #2.

She has taken to hiding “her food” in the outside refrigerator, hiding “her car keys”.  It’s to the extent that no one can walk into her room, for fear of invading “her space” and there would also be the strong chance of discovering missing contraband such as “her car keys”, among other hijacked items.

I’m fairly sure this problem is not limited to my household.  Waiting to hear from dads with teenage daughters.

I can’t be alone on this.  My teen high school senior spent 14 hours having her senior photos taken.  It was narrowed down a final 20 photo’s and ALL OF THEM WERE UNACCEPTABLE AFTER BEING SIGNED OFF ON BY MY DAUGHTER.

Indeed, the smoke cleared and not one of those photos was going to work for way, shape or reason.  We simply have to redo them, again.  Those 20 final photos (taken over 14 hours, winnowed down from hundreds) will simply not hold up for posterity and history.  Not even close.

I had the unmitigated gall to tell said daughter the “photos looked great” and I was relegated to the ash can of idiot fathers.  I’m still running for cover.

Love to hear from other dads, unless I’m all alone on this.

A lost calculator the night before a calculus exam ended life, as we understand it, in the Kennedy household..    In listening to my teen daughter who lost this calculator, she is clearly not fit to live on this earth.  It’s a transgression worthy of a  self served life sentence of being an idiot.  No other subset of humans is as tough on themselves as teenage girls.  A close second are their peers, who exist only to be trashed or dismissed, but that is for another post.

My daughter does not want to hear that things happen, things get lost, and when somebody loses or misplaces something, it does not render them an idiot for life.

Our household remains calm at all times, very balanced and all things in perspective…..Yikes.